Archive for the Rants and Random Thoughts Category


Posted in Rants and Random Thoughts, Television with tags , , , , on March 8, 2011 by Joe

I figured since the name of this post is “Rants and Random Thoughts” and Charlie Sheen has been on a two week rant of his own, that is was only fitting to include some of his best soundbites on one page. So here you go. The best of Charlie Sheen.


“I’m bi-winning. I win here. I win there.”

“As kids we’re not taught how to deal with success; we’re taught how to deal with failure. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. If at first you succeed, then what?”

“But you can’t focus on things that matter if all you’ve been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know.”

“For now, I’m just going to hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here, but I sure like the view.”

“From my big beautiful warlock brain, welcome to ‘Sheen’s Korner’ … You’re either in my corner, or you’re with the trolls.”

“I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

“I don’t have time for their judgement and their stupidity and you know they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and look at their loser lives and then they look at me and they say, ‘I can’t process it’ well, no, you never will stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show. You know?”

“I just don’t want to live like I used to. And at some point, I’m going to put a gag order on myself in terms of talking about the past. I’ve got to slam the door and deal with the present and the future.” 

“I still don’t have all the answers. I’m more interested in what I can do next than what I did last.”

“I tried marriage. I’m 0 for 3 with the marriage thing. So, being a ballplayer – I believe in numbers. I’m not going 0 for 4. I’m not wearing a golden sombrero.” 

“I’m dealing with fools and trolls and soft targets. It’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee. I don’t have time for these clowns.” 

“I’m sorry, man, but I’ve got magic. I’ve got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time – and this includes naps – I’m an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.” 

“I’ve spent, I think, close to the last decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold.”

“Life all comes down to a few moments. This is one of them.” 
“People say you have to work on your resentments. Yeah, no, I’m gonna hang onto them and they’re gonna fuel my attack.”
“Slash sat me down at his house and said, You’ve got to clean up your act. You know you’ve gone too far when Slash is saying, Look, you’ve got to get into rehab.” 

“Sure, I did a lot of things in excess. But if you look at the core, the foundation of what I pursued, what red-blooded young American male in my position wouldn’t?” 

“Uncertainty is a sign of humility, and humility is just the ability or the willingness to learn.”

“What they’re not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people. See where that goes.”

“When friends asked me, Can we help? I’d say, Not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest or teleport me off this rock. I used that line from Star Wars.”
“You have the right to kill me, but you don’t have the right to judge me. That’s life. There’s nobility in that. There’s focus. It’s genuine. It’s crystal and it’s pure and it’s available to everybody, so just shut your traps and put down your McDonalds, your vaccines, your Us Weekly, your TMZ and the rest of it.”
“I probably took more than anybody could survive. … I was bangin’ seven-gram rocks and finishing them because that’s how I roll, because I have one speed, one gear. … I’m different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man. Dying’s for fools, dying’s for amateurs.”
“They’re the best at what they do and I’m the best at what I do. And together it’s like, it’s on. Sorry, Middle America. Yeah, I said it.” (This was in response to why he likes porn stars. It’s hard to argue with his logic)
“I mean, what’s not to love? Especially when you see how I party man, it’s epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them, just look like droopy-eyed, armless children.”
“They’ll wake up one day and realize how cool dad is. And, you know, signs all the checks on the front, not the back. And you know, we need him and we need his wisdom and his bitchin’-ness.”
“I think the honesty not only shines through in my work, but also my personal life. And I get in trouble for being honest. I’m extremely old-fashioned. I’m a nobleman. I’m chivalrous.”
“I have a 10,000-year-old brain and the boogers of a 7-year-old. That’s how I describe myself.”
“I just don’t do it. I will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a certain path because it was written for normal people. People who aren’t special. People who don’t have tiger blood and Adonis DNA.”
“Well, I mean, first of all come Wednesday morning they’re gonna rename it Charlie Bros. and not Warner Bros. Duh, winning! It’s, like, guys, IMDB right there, 62 movies and a ton of success. I mean, c’mon bro, I won best picture at 20. I wasn’t even trying. I wasn’t even warm.”
“I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars, and people can’t figure me out; they can’t process me. I don’t expect them to. You can’t process me with a normal brain.”

The man is pure genius. Forget Confucius. It’s all about Charlie.


A Sensitive Subject

Posted in Rants and Random Thoughts, Sports with tags , , , on February 23, 2011 by Joe

Let’s have an honest and frank discussion about what is usually off the table when it comes to dinner conversations, Race. Much like politics and religion, the topic of race makes a lot of people very uncomfortable, and understandably so. Nobody wants to say the wrong thing and look like a racist with hatred in their heart. Words and thoughts can easily be misconstrued and twisted into meaning something other than what the person actually meant it to be. Friendships and relationships can be destroyed.

The reason I decided to jump onto this subject was because of an article a friend of mine sent to me the other day by Buzz Bissinger. Bissinger asserts that the reason basketball is not as popular as it once was (attendance has been way down over the last couple of years and teams are losing money hand over fist) is because of racism. His main point is that white people have an issue following a sport in which there are really no superstars that share the same pasty complexion. Buzz writes:

But a major problem with the NBA, one that is virtually never spoken about honestly, is the issue of race. I have no hard-core evidence. But based on my past experience in writing about sports, I know that whites ascribe very different characteristics to black athletes than they do white ones. I also make a habit of asking every white sports fan I know whether they watch the NBA. In virtually every instance, they say they once watched the game but no longer do. When I ask them if it has anything to do with the racial composition, they do their best to look indignant. But my guess is they felt very differently about the game when Larry Bird and John Stockton were playing.

You have to admit, it’s an interesting point. I just don’t necessarily believe it.

While we have finally started to move in the right direction, racism unfortunately still exists in this country. Especially more so in certain areas of the country (The South). However, I find it hard to believe that the reason white people aren’t following basketball as much as they used to is because of the absence of a white superstar and because of racism. Basketball’s market share is dwindling because of more than just race being an issue.

The definition of racism according to Merriam-Webster is “a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race”. With that definition in mind, it seems as if Bissinger is saying that white people don’t watch basketball because black people are better at the sport and it makes whitey uncomfortable.

The reason I wanted to post something about this is because he is basically talking about me. I’m not a pro basketball fan, never really have been. Is that because I hate black people? Is it because there isn’t anyone in the league dropping triple doubles every night that looks like me? The very simple answer to both of those questions is a resounding NO.

So why don’t I follow professional basketball? Two reasons.

The first and main reason is because I grew up in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. It’s football country, not basketball. We didn’t and still don’t have a pro basketball team. Basketball just wasn’t really around when I was an adolescent. There was college basketball and the Pitt Panthers, but they weren’t very good when I was young. Although I do watch college basketball now, especially during March Madness which is one of the greatest sporting events we have. I fell in love with football because of the Steelers, hockey because of the Penguins, and baseball because of the Pirates (who are now dead to me). What basketball team was I supposed to root for?

The second reason is because basketball just isn’t compelling to me. I could never get into it. It never really grew on me. Of course I could sit and watch Jordan in his prime. That was mostly because he was an athletic freak. He was just so much better and smarter than everyone else and could do things on the basketball court that were unimaginable. Much the same way as Lebron James does now. If I’m flipping channels and come across a guy like James or Blake Griffin playing, I’ll stop for a few minutes and watch for something amazing, but I won’t stay to long because eventually I get bored.

I love football because of the violence and beauty of the sport. 11 guys trying to figure out what the other 11 guys are going to do and seeing how they can beat them. In football the team concept works its magic. Of course you can have one guy who can dominate a game but if he doesn’t have the players around him working as a team, then it doesn’t matter how good that guy is. The same goes with hockey. One player cannot dominate a game. This doesn’t hold true for basketball. A perfect example is the Cleveland Cavaliers. They are two years removed from making it to the NBA finals and were a consistent playoff contender with James. Now look at them. Since Lebron “took his talents to South Beach”, the Cavs at one point had dropped 26 straight games. Other than Lebron, not much changed. Maybe he couldn’t win a title with the correct role players around him but he could certainly make the playoffs. That doesn’t work in football or hockey. That’s my main issue with the sport.

Bissinger is most famous for his book, “Friday Night Lights”, in which he documents a season of high school football in West Texas. It was a fantastic book that took the reader into another world that most of us have never been in. While spending time in area and researching the book, he basically came across the good old boys who took racism to another level. Here’s what he wrote:

But I still believe race is a key deterrent in getting more whites reengaged and increasing interest. It has to do with racial stereotyping. Those stereotypes are wrong. They are malicious. But to act is if they do not exist is disingenuous. When I wrote the book Friday Night Lights about high-school football in Texas, I saw the racial stereotypes of some whites up close—their firm belief that white athletes admirably succeeded because of hustle and hard work and brains, and black athletes succeeded solely on the basis of pure athletic skill. In other words, white athletes virtuously worked their tails off whereas black athletes simply coasted because they can.

He is right in saying that acting like those stereotypes do not exist is naive and/or disingenuous. There are people out there who definitely believe these stereotypes to be true. There are small-minded people out there who don’t like black people, Asians, Homosexuals, or Mexicans. There are plenty of ignorant people in this world and there will most likely always be ignorant people in the world. However, not everyone is like that. In fact, I think the vast majority of people don’t believe in these stereotypes.

Are there black athletes who skate by on pure athletic skill and don’t put in the extra work? Absolutely. You can find them in every sport. Vince Young immediately comes to mind.  A guy with fantastic skills and who is a pure athlete that doesn’t want to put in the work that it takes to become a great quarterback. I mention Young because Bissinger makes the point that while the majority of the talent in the NFL is black, it doesn’t have the same perception that the NBA does because “the game is predicated on brute strength that is impossible to fake, there is rarely any grumbling that African-American athletes are not trying hard enough”. He also mentions that the majority of marquee athletes are white like Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, and Aaron Rodgers. I don’t think the reason that Peyton Manning is better than Young is because the color of his skin but because he works harder than Young. He spends countless hours in the film room preparing for the next game. He puts in the extra work that separates him from other players like Young.

For every player like Young, there are 10 more like James Harrison, Donovan McNabb, or guys like Kobe Bryant in the NBA. Guys that are incredibly gifted athletes who put in the extra time to make themselves even better. The article mentions how McNabb received a ton of criticism for never being able to win the Super Bowl. Despite going to five NFC Championships and one Super Bowl. While there are some people who think McNabb never won the Super Bowl because of intelligence, most people “loath” McNabb because he couldn’t actually win that big game. People heap criticism on him for getting so close and always coming up short. Peyton Manning gets the same treatment. In one breath they will mention how good he is and the next they will talk about how he always comes up short in the big game. No matter if you are black or white or brown or green or yellow or whatever, winning will draw love and losing will draw animosity.

I think the reason that some people follow some sports and not other is availability. Just like I mentioned earlier that the main reason I don’t follow pro basketball is because I didn’t grow up with it. I think the same parallels can be drawn with hockey. While hockey is growing in popularity, it is still a bit of a niche sport. Of the four major sports leagues (no, I’m not counting soccer of the WNBA), hockey has by far the smallest market share.

While Bissinger makes the point that white people don’t follow basketball because of the lack of star white players, you could make the same exact point as to why more black people don’t follow hockey. While I concede that there are some white people and black people don’t watch either sport because of the point, the I think it’s larger than that.

It’s my opinion that more black people don’t watch or participate in hockey for that matter is because they didn’t grow up with. Just look at the majority of players in the NHL. Most are from Canada or other similar countries where the winter is longer and colder. They were given the opportunity to put on some skates, grab a stick and go play on a pond. You can’t really do that in Brooklyn.

Also, hockey is really expensive to play which is another obstacle to overcome for many people who even think about playing the sport. A lot of professional basketball players come from inner city neighborhoods and from background where money is limited. Basketball is relatively cheap sport to play. Put on a pair of basketball shoes and grab a basketball and you are good to go.

Hockey, just like football or baseball is more of a team sport. You can’t really throw a football or baseball to yourself. You can however go out on a court and shoot hoops all day long by yourself. This just goes back to my point about availability. It’s much easier to go out and get better basketball if you have the initial skills than it is for some other sports.

My last point is that Bissinger specifically mentions Larry Bird and John Stockton. These may have been the best two white players to every play the game and they played in an era when basketball was in its prime. I don’t believe for a second that the popularity of the NBA at that time was because of these guys. The NBA was still predominately African-American at the time and I firmly believe that racism was more prevalent during these times. Wouldn’t this counter to what he is saying?

The sport was more team oriented back then than it is now a days. There were team identities. The Celtics, the Bad Boy Pistons, The Knicks, the Showtime Lakers. There were also real rivalries. Teams and players genuinely hated one another. It makes the sport so much more interesting. Now you have superstars teaming up with another to form a semi dream team. Add in the fact that ticket prices have increased significantly, and you can see why a decline in interest is happening.

Like I said earlier, I’m positive there are some  white people out there who hate basketball because there aren’t more white superstars and the game is dominated by African-Americans. They are called racists. It’s unfortunate that there are still people out there like that. However, I also thinks it’s unfortunate that when trying to explain something we throw out the race card. It’s such an easy excuse. Not everything comes down to race. Sometimes it does, but not always. Things are more complicated than that.

RIP Tony Soprano

Posted in Rants and Random Thoughts, Television with tags , , , , on February 14, 2011 by Joe

Now that football is over and I have slightly recovered from my depression over the Steelers losing, the rest of my life can resume. When I started this blog, I mentioned that most of the posts would be about sports but I would mix in some other random things. This is one of those times. I will keep this one short since you will be reading quite a bit after you read this. The reason I wanted to post this was because I came upon an article the other day that I thought other fans of The Sopranos should read. It will be posted at the end.

Even though the show went to black back in 2007, for most of us fans, it’s still with us. I still think about the show every now and then and will gladly watch an edited episode on A&E.

The show started in 1999 and ran for six glorious seasons. I know a lot of people will argue that “The Wire” was the best television drama of all time (and it’s hard to disagree) but “The Sopranos” was the greatest television show ever created.

Just like the over bearing father who relives his high school football playing days through his son, we lived out our dark sides through Tony and his crew. Tony Soprano was no doubt an evil character. He ruined so many people’s lives including those closest to him but we loved him anyway. The character created a strange dichotomy where on one hand we would root for him and cheer him on and the other we wanted to see him destroyed.

If you are reading this then I’m assuming you have watched the show. If you haven’t then WATCH IT! In the final episode we see Tony and his family waiting for Meadow to appear so they can have dinner together. As the hour was coming to a close we kept waiting in anticipation for what was going to happen. Then all of a sudden, the screen cut to black for a good 10 seconds. Everybody watching immediately thought that there cable went out and panicked.

Once we finally figured out that our cable didn’t go out, the opinions on the ending started flooding in. What happened to Tony? Did he die? Did he live?

For a while after the show I was under the impression that Chase left it up to the viewer to decided what went down. I didn’t want to admit that Tony was dead so I was in the camp of he lived. However, after thinking about it for a while I realized that Tony was shot. It was over.

After reading the following link, I am now more certain than ever that Tony met his maker. The writer of this blog breaks down that final scene in amazing detail and will show you once and for all what really happened. If you still don’t believe after reading this then I’m not sure what else to tell you. I guess it’s true that “For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don’t believe, no proof is possible”.